Try This Before Getting Angry: Experts Share Tips on Building Happy Family
Parents must prioritize self-care, while unity among parents and acknowledging good traits in children are also crucial in building healthy family relationshipsParenting is a long journey and how parents handle stress and emotions along the way can be a learning process.At the “Parental Emotional Education—New Dynamics in Medicine, Education, and Society” annual forum held on Nov. 24 by Harmony House, a charitable organization in Hong Kong, experts shared their tips for establishing happy family relationships and methods for parents to manage their emotions when facing stress.Professor Alex Chan Chi-keung, the dean of the School of Arts and Humanities at Tung Wah College in Hong Kong, shared his experience for promoting harmonious parent–child relationships. Parents Must Prioritize Self-Care Mr. Chan emphasized the importance of parents practicing self-care.“In simple terms, it means treating oneself well and loving oneself,” he said.While parents can hardly avoid emotions when disciplining their children, and having negative emotions is entirely normal, Mr. Chan advised against expressing these negative emotions immediately to children, as it is not helpful.He suggested mindfulness and focusing on the present moment, allowing oneself to accept the negative emotions, which can facilitate emotional regulation.Related StoriesThe professor also came up with a set of exercises that parents can try when facing the pressures of parenting or life: Close your eyes, maintain silence, and take deep breaths: Inhale slowly and exhale slowly. Reflect on recent stressors related to parenting, setbacks in daily life, or even past failures in your personal growth. Allow these emotions to surface one by one. Open your palms. Visualize these emotions flowing into your hands. Take slow, deep breaths. Clench both fists and place them firmly on your chest. Breathe deeply with strength. Slowly exhale. Open your hands, allowing these negative emotions to manifest. Visualize a close friend of yours facing the same stressors: How would you encourage them? Would you give them a hug or pat their shoulder? Remember these words and actions. Now, consider yourself in the same situation: In the face of various difficulties, how would you encourage yourself, just as you would encourage your friend? Finally, hold yourself tightly with both hands, feeling the presence of your own life and recognizing your role as a significant figure in your child’s life (continue breathing in and out). The annual forum "Parental Emotional Education—New Dynamics in Medicine, Education, and Society" was held by Harmony House in Hong Kong on Nov. 24, 2023. (Ji Ru/The Epoch Times)Unity Among Parents Children are highly sensitive to their parents’ feelings, and parental unity is crucial in constructing a child’s sense of happiness, according to Mr. Chan.“If possible, parents should be on the same page and form an alliance, striving to make consistent decisions for their children,” he said.“Even if there are times when both partners have different views, it’s best to observe quietly on the sidelines when the other is disciplining the child. Avoid contradicting your partner and calmly communicate with him or her later on. Never argue in front of the child.” Acknowledging 3 Super Traits in Children Dr. Cheung Yen, a registered counseling psychologist with the Hong Kong Psychological Society, believes that recognizing and appreciating good traits in children can naturally enhance parent–child relationships.She pointed out that children, despite their young age, possess three major “super traits”: Super loyalty. Children naturally attach to their parents, have unlimited trust in them, and are extremely loyal to their own families. Super dedication. Children always place their parents at the highest priority and are willing to make any sacrifices to keep them happy. Super affection with their parents (even as they grow up, they still try to fulfill their parents’ expectations). “The formation of a healthy family relationship is, in fact, the children’s largest and safest environment for growth,” she said.
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Parents must prioritize self-care, while unity among parents and acknowledging good traits in children are also crucial in building healthy family relationships
Parenting is a long journey and how parents handle stress and emotions along the way can be a learning process.
At the “Parental Emotional Education—New Dynamics in Medicine, Education, and Society” annual forum held on Nov. 24 by Harmony House, a charitable organization in Hong Kong, experts shared their tips for establishing happy family relationships and methods for parents to manage their emotions when facing stress.
Professor Alex Chan Chi-keung, the dean of the School of Arts and Humanities at Tung Wah College in Hong Kong, shared his experience for promoting harmonious parent–child relationships.
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Parents Must Prioritize Self-Care
Mr. Chan emphasized the importance of parents practicing self-care.“In simple terms, it means treating oneself well and loving oneself,” he said.
While parents can hardly avoid emotions when disciplining their children, and having negative emotions is entirely normal, Mr. Chan advised against expressing these negative emotions immediately to children, as it is not helpful.
He suggested mindfulness and focusing on the present moment, allowing oneself to accept the negative emotions, which can facilitate emotional regulation.
The professor also came up with a set of exercises that parents can try when facing the pressures of parenting or life:
- Close your eyes, maintain silence, and take deep breaths: Inhale slowly and exhale slowly.
- Reflect on recent stressors related to parenting, setbacks in daily life, or even past failures in your personal growth. Allow these emotions to surface one by one.
- Open your palms. Visualize these emotions flowing into your hands.
- Take slow, deep breaths. Clench both fists and place them firmly on your chest. Breathe deeply with strength.
- Slowly exhale. Open your hands, allowing these negative emotions to manifest.
- Visualize a close friend of yours facing the same stressors: How would you encourage them? Would you give them a hug or pat their shoulder? Remember these words and actions.
- Now, consider yourself in the same situation: In the face of various difficulties, how would you encourage yourself, just as you would encourage your friend?
- Finally, hold yourself tightly with both hands, feeling the presence of your own life and recognizing your role as a significant figure in your child’s life (continue breathing in and out).
.
.
Unity Among Parents
Children are highly sensitive to their parents’ feelings, and parental unity is crucial in constructing a child’s sense of happiness, according to Mr. Chan.“If possible, parents should be on the same page and form an alliance, striving to make consistent decisions for their children,” he said.
“Even if there are times when both partners have different views, it’s best to observe quietly on the sidelines when the other is disciplining the child. Avoid contradicting your partner and calmly communicate with him or her later on. Never argue in front of the child.”
.
Acknowledging 3 Super Traits in Children
Dr. Cheung Yen, a registered counseling psychologist with the Hong Kong Psychological Society, believes that recognizing and appreciating good traits in children can naturally enhance parent–child relationships.She pointed out that children, despite their young age, possess three major “super traits”:
- Super loyalty. Children naturally attach to their parents, have unlimited trust in them, and are extremely loyal to their own families.
- Super dedication. Children always place their parents at the highest priority and are willing to make any sacrifices to keep them happy.
- Super affection with their parents (even as they grow up, they still try to fulfill their parents’ expectations).
