Do You Love Your Phone More Than Me? What Parents' Screen Habits May Do to Teenagers

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A Question No Parent Wants to Hear

Years ago, a mother told a psychologist that her young daughter had asked her: "Mommy, do you love your phone more than me?" The question stuck with him. It later became the title of a scientific paper.

That paper, published in Frontiers in Psychology on June 18, 2026, asks whether a parent's phone habits can affect how safe and connected a teenager feels at home. The answer, so far, is a cautious "possibly."

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What the Researchers Did

A team from Newport Healthcare's research center, working with two university psychologists, surveyed 600 U.S. teenagers aged 12 to 17. The survey ran in August 2025 through an online panel, with parental consent.

The teens named the adult who mainly looked after them, most often a mother or a father figure. They then answered two sets of questions. One measured how much they felt that adult's attention was pulled away by devices. The other measured their attachment style (how secure they feel in the relationship).

The team created the first measure itself. It is called the Device Attachment Interference Scale. It includes statements such as feeling ignored when a caregiver is on a device, or feeling unimportant when that caregiver won't put it down.

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What They Found

Teens who reported more device distraction at home also reported more insecure attachment. This held for both mother and father figures.

Two kinds of insecurity showed up:

• Anxious attachment: worrying about being left out or rejected, and needing a lot of reassurance.
• Avoidant attachment: feeling uncomfortable with closeness and keeping an emotional distance.

Researchers describe the behavior with two terms. "Technoference" means technology interrupting time together. "Phubbing" (phone plus snubbing) means ignoring someone in favor of a phone.

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A Common Habit, Seen Differently by Parents and Teens

Phone distraction at home is widespread. In a 2020 Pew Research Center survey, 68% of U.S. parents said they at least sometimes feel distracted by their phone when spending time with their kids.

Teens notice it too. In Pew's 2024 survey, 46% of teens said a parent is at least sometimes distracted by a phone during conversations. In the same survey, only 31% of parents said this applied to them. The gap suggests many parents may not realize how their behavior looks from the other side of the table.

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Why Attention Matters

Attachment theory, developed by British psychiatrist John Bowlby, holds that children build a sense of security when caregivers respond to them reliably. Over time, those early experiences shape how people expect relationships to work.

The authors note that insecure attachment has been linked to depression, anxiety, trouble managing emotions and difficulty trusting others. They also point out something that sets phone distraction apart from other risk factors, such as neglect or a parent's illness: it is fully within a parent's control.

Earlier studies had linked parental phubbing to behavior problems in children and to feelings of rejection in teens, though much of that work looked at other age groups or other countries.

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What the Study Cannot Tell Us

The study has real limits, and the authors say so themselves.

It captures a single moment in time, so it cannot show what causes what. Phone distraction might make teens feel less secure. But teens who already feel insecure might also be more sensitive to a parent's wandering attention. A third factor, such as family stress, could affect both.

All the information also came from teens' own reports, and the scale used is brand new. The authors say conclusions about its clinical use should be drawn with caution. The research team is affiliated with a behavioral health provider, though the paper reports no conflicts of interest.

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Attachment Is Not Set in Stone

There is encouraging news. Lead author Don Grant has said that attachment is "malleable," meaning it can change with experience. In other words, a strained bond can recover, and a good one needs ongoing care.

Grant has also said he wants millennial parents, the first generation raised alongside the internet, to hear about the research.

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Practical Steps for Families

No parent can ignore the phone entirely. Work emails, school messages and family logistics all arrive on it. Experts in this field generally suggest modest, realistic changes:

• Protect a few phone-free moments. Meals, car rides and bedtime are easy places to start.
• Acknowledge your child, even when busy. A quick "I see you, give me two minutes" followed by real attention afterward shows you value them.
• Show you're listening. Put the phone down, make eye contact and ask a follow-up question.
• Ask your teen directly. Ask whether your phone use ever makes them feel ignored, then listen without defending yourself.
• Make rules for everyone. Agree on device habits together, so they apply to parents too.

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Outlook

The study does not prove that phones damage family bonds. It does show that teens notice where their parents' attention goes, and that how they feel about it relates to how secure they feel with them.

Longer-term studies that follow families over time could clarify cause and effect. Meanwhile, the takeaway for parents is a simple one: attention is a gift children can feel, and giving it more often costs nothing.

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Sources

1. Grant, D., Winston-Lindeboom, P., Ruan-Iu, L., Shackleford, K. E., Nosal, B., & Roeske, M. (2026). "Mommy, do you love your phone more than me?": Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond. Frontiers in Psychology, 17. https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2026.1766665/full
2. Pew Research Center (2020). Parenting Children in the Age of Screens. https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/07/28/parenting-children-in-the-age-of-screens/
3. Pew Research Center (2024). How Teens and Parents Approach Screen Time. https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2024/03/11/how-teens-and-parents-approach-screen-time/
4. ETV Bharat (June 20, 2026). Teens are insecure and anxious when parents are too distracted with mobile phones: Study. https://www.etvbharat.com/en/lifestyle/teenagers-perceived-parents-distracted-phones-insecure-attachment-style-enn26062001076
5. Earth.com (June 2026). Teens feel less secure when parents are constantly on their phones. https://www.earth.com/lifestyle/teens-feel-less-secure-when-parents-are-constantly-on-their-phones/
6. Newport Healthcare (July 2026). Teenagers whose parents are more distracted by phones are more insecure (originally published by Frontiers). https://www.newporthealthcare.com/resources/in-the-news/teenagers-whose-parents-are-more-distracted-by-phones-are-more-insecure/

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